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My usually composed, carefree, go with the flow husband even has hulk moment....I'm sad to say I was not there to witness that moment this morning....

On most mornings, I leave for work by 7 a.m. Doing this makes it pretty easy to bypass most traffic issues. However, on Thursdays, I need to stay later at work for a meeting that prevents me from leaving at my usual time. That means that I get to experience Austin's morning rush hour once a week. This morning was a particularly crappy Austin morning rush hour. I'll spare you the specifics, but the time it was taking me to get to a landmark that normally takes five minutes to get to took me about thirty minutes. A nice stop-and-more-stopping-and-sometimes-going-but-not-really-going pace.

Anyway, I was driving on my merry way listening to my favorite morning buddy, Dan Patrick, and occasionally glancing back at my rear-view mirror noticing your stereotypical "I've got a lot of shit things going on that I could've just as easily done at home, but I chose not to because God forbid I wake up prior to 7:58 for my 8 a.m. commute" person behind me. She was playing with her phone, fixing her make-up, pretty much anything besides looking directly in front of her. As I notice her multitasking abilities, or lack thereof, I see that she continued to get precariously closer putting very little space between her front bumper and my rear bumper. I remember thinking, "This person is going to rear-end me." Side note: I've been in five accidents in Austin. Prior to moving to Austin: zero accidents. All five accidents: rear-ended in a situation remarkably similar to this one. So, of course no less than five minutes later, I feel a little love tap on the back of my car. It wasn't a giant impact, but it was enough to get my attention.

I looked in my rear-view mirror one more time while raising my arms into the air in disgust wondering where she thought she was going to be driving while everyone surrounding her was immobile. She offered no explanation other than a hands-up "WHOOPS" gesture. At this point, I'm not really worried about my car. The tap was enough to possibly break an egg positioned between the two cars. But since the traffic wasn't moving, I decided to get out and inspect things. Now, I know that cars nearby were already thinking, "This guy is nuts, why is he walking outside on a major highway?" RELAX, PEOPLE, TRAFFIC AIN'T MOVIN'.  I digress... I go to the rear of my car and inspect the "damage", of which there is none. As I walk back to return to my car, I have a moment of clarity. This woman must know of my anguish. I decide to go full-speed dad-in-waiting mode.

I raised the sternest of index fingers, and I pointed directly into her soul. "PAY. ATTENTION." I shouted. Then, I returned to my car. Man, that felt good. I couldn't wait to tell Allie about my slight fit of road rage. And now it's here for the internet to see. Enjoy. Let this serve as some sort of lesson. Please pay attention when you're driving. That is all.