Home is where the heart is.....

So last time I wrote - I was in a pissy mood.  After I wrote I did indeed leave the house, I really needed an outing..  We needed to pick up a few things from  Babies R Us, so I figured if I was getting out of the house - make it productive..so off I went to pick up diapers, puffs and formula.  The trip took all of 10 minutes but I wasn't ready to head back home.  Before I left the house I  snagged a gift card we had to Carter's -  a baby clothing store.

Next thing I knew, I found myself aimlessly walking around the store looking for bigger pajames for Grace -- she is already growing out of her 9 month stuff.  As I was parousing the aisles, I found myself smiling at footed pajamas, giggling at dainty hair clips and swooning over newborn outfits.   And that's when I asked myself, What have I become?? Almost unrecognizable - I'm the lady that squeals in delight when she see ruffles or oversized bows on tiny outfits, the lady that goo goo's and ga ga's at random children, the one that painted her babies room IN ALL PINK  and puts her daughter in dresses just to go to the park.

In the middle of Carter's  I realized a couple of things - First, I love all things baby - giggling at footed pajamas and getting weepy eyed at little girl dresses is now a part of me.  Secondly - having Grace has released a side of me that I have tried to protect for years- my vulnerable side.  My heart no longer belongs to me - it's hers.  That's the overwhelming and scary part of parenthood - knowing the highs and lows of life that Grace will face will be felt by me as well.  Wanting to protect her because it is my job but also selfishly protecting her because ultimately it saves me heartache as well.

No longer wanting to be away from my family, I could not have finished up my shopping excursion fast enough. I was eager to get home - To my heart.

SIDE BAR:I love this song!


---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------