A little late with this post but it's because I was being showered with love and homemade bagels yesterday. I was going to write about the sentimental feelings of what a mother is or what is feels like to be a mother, but I decided a quick trip to reality is a lot more fun to read. I was never a girl that dreamed about my future child(ren) - I think in my heart I always knew I wanted a kid(s), but it wasn't what I thought I was "destined" or "made" to do. Now, that I am mom, I love it, it's great - I've never loved like this. But - Shit, it's hard. It's not as dreamy as it looks in movies and it's not as horrible as it seems from online discussion boards! It's real.
I'm responsible for a human life - not only do I have to make sure she is healthy and happy but for societies sake I have to make sure she is a loving, caring, responsible person. That's the kicker. Yes it is fun to dress her up like a little doll but if said doll acts like "chucky" then I failed...miserably! I probably put too much pressure on myself and Grace at times. I mean what 15 month old is going to act perfectly all the time? I'm almost 31 and there are plenty of times where I act like a fool. There are days when I have to pause, capture the moment, tell myself mistakes will be made, tears will be shed, tantrums will be had, blood will be spilled - but that's what makes it real. That's what makes me a mom.
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Moments from yesterday:
